A tree for Jay

Our very dear friend, Jay, died, earlier in February from a very rare blood disorder following a battle with lymphoma. Steve was friends with Jay before I met Steve and he and Jay shared a love of musical theatre, which is how they met, through the Newcastle-based musical theatre group, Metropolitan Players. We planted this tibouchina at Larnook in memory of Jay today. Jay loved purple, and the flowers of tibouchinas are a lovely bright purple, so we think Jay would approve.

Jay (on the right, for those who don't know Jay) met Keith about a year or so after Steve and I got together and they have been wonderful friends to us. Here they are helping me to celebrate my PhD graduation back in 1997. Jay was given the alternative name of Aunty Joan when our friend David, who lived with us back in 1998, thought we were saying 'Joan' instead of Jay, when we'd be speaking with him on the phone. We are David's 'gay parents' and so naturally Jay became Aunty Joan and Keith, Uncle Keith. The familial relationships are what Keith calls his 'logical family' as distinct from 'biological family'.

And here we were at a Mardi Gras parade, when for some reason, we all decided to wear masks.  (The feathers were very hot). Steven, our friend Craig, Jay and myself. Back in those days (mid 1990s, when the Mardi Gras parade was at its zenith), we'd get to our favourite spot on Flinders Street around 3.00pm and wait for the parade to commence - it wouldn't reach us until about 8.30pm. So we'd drink plenty of champers and the merriment would increase while we waited and then once the parade had begun Jay and I would lure men from the parade over to us to choose a lolly from our huge bowl of mixed lollies that we had earlier put together in return for a friendly kiss. We miss you, Jay! And we shall be reminded of you whenever we look at your tree.