First Aid Qualified

So there I was yesterday afternoon with a room full of strangers trying to tie a fricking clove hitch so that I could make a collar and cuff sling. I kind of fashioned up something that sort of resembled this knot that up until a week or so ago I'd never hear of, that seemed to satisfy my instructor, though I suspect mine was probably a bare pass rather than a credit or distinction level. At least I could correctly identify the funnel web spider embedded in resin and distinguish the difference between it and a mouse spider.

As a requirement for my massage course I needed to attain a Senior First Aid Certificate so I enrolled a couple of weeks ago in a one day course that was run through Lismore Community College. And yesterday was the big day. Over the past couple of weeks I'd studiously worked through my Active First Aid handbook, and answered the 120 questions on everything from cardiac arrest to choking to visible internal bleeding and I had memorised what DRABCD, RICE, SAMPLE and DOTS all meant. I knew the chain of survival off by heart and was well versed in what to do in case of blunt or penetrating trauma. I'd practiced putting Steve in the recovery position and felt reasonably confident in identifying febrile convulsions.

But, what I was apprehensive about was the whole torrid business of making slings out of bandages. Because this involved knot work.

Now I need to give you some back story here. When I was a kid I was barred from joining Cardiff cubs until I could tie my own shoe laces. Joining cubs was a big deal (at least for a week or two) so I now had this added pressure to make sure I could master the double bow or I'd be forever peering over the fence at all the fun things the cubs got to do. But no matter how my poor mother tried to teach me, I just couldn't get the hang of it. In much the same way I could never master fractions or 24hour time either. I never did join cubs.

So, here I was some 40 years later coming face to face with my knot-phobia, but luckily I managed to negotiate my way through. So, after spending the day learning how to give CPR and rescue breaths, playing with bandages and understanding the need to give constant reassurance to any casualty who comes my way, I passed the multiple choice test and now await my shiny new certificate in the mail.